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<\/p>\nYou know, I always think I sibei helpful. When my friends ask for advice, I\u2019m always the first to kee chiu and tell them what I think.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, they tell me that they stressed or lose motivation to do work. Or they just feel angry and frustrated that no one understands them. Maybe they lose direction in life because they feel they are just doing what other people tell them to do. There are also days when they say when it can be hard to get out of bed. (Huh?! Sounds like they just want to chao keng only lehhhh.)<\/p>\n
I just thought this is young people being young people, right? They stress this, stress that and always overthinking. So, I always tell them things like \u201cDon\u2019t be so negative lah!\u201d or \u201cWhy you always like this?\u201d Or like last time my mother father used to say to me \u201cJia you!\u201d when I was sad. I thought I felt better lah, so I thought will also work for them. But then, I see a lot of eyes rolling.<\/p>\n
That day when I share all this with my friend Jasmine Yeo, I just wanted to know: issit I say the wrong thing? She\u2019s the lead clinical psychologist from Safe Space\u2122, a digital mental healthcare provider, that offers mental health therapy care both offline and online, so I know she will confirm be sibei honest.<\/p>\n
She said 100% confirm plus chop yes, I AM saying the wrong things. My friends could be struggling with their mental health and I could actually be making it worse with what I said.<\/p>\n
Wah, I felt so paiseh. Hais, words say already so hard to take back. But neh mind, now let me share with you so y\u2019all won\u2019t make the same mistakes as me. Here are five things she suggest I \u2014 or you, if you put your foot in your mouth like me \u2014 can start doing:<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t be a hero and add on your own comments or start telling your own sad stories. As they say, the most important skill is the art of listening. Also, no judgement ah. Limpeh\u2019s new mantra is just listen and accept.<\/p>\n
Sometimes, people just want to be heard. Sit down and give them some of your time. Try saying \u201cOk, you share. I see how I can help.\u201d<\/p>\n
When your friend says they are depressed, start with these two words: \u201cI care\u201d. It can really help the person who is feeling down. Jasmine also shares examples of how you can be helpful like asking if they would like company or offer to run errands, just so they can take their mind of things.<\/p>\n
Sometimes when people get anxious or think their situation is sibei jialat, they panic then they can\u2019t think clearly or see how to fix. Why not first help them find small parts of their problem that they can solve so that they don\u2019t feel so helpless. Jasmine says having a choice \u2014 even if they choose to do nothing \u2014 will make them feel empowered.<\/p>\n
Let them know that it\u2019s normal to feel this way, and they don\u2019t have to be embarrassed about talking to a mental health professional. Sumpa. Everyone needs a friend, correct or not? Having someone to talk to will make them feel less alone and give them time to relax a bit. Remember you don\u2019t need to solve their problem. Just listen.<\/p>\n
As we continue to fight this pandemic, we sure see more people around us who are anxious and troubled. The economy not good. People are losing jobs and taking pay cuts. So, the most important thing is to help people you love, by making sure those who have mental health issues are not by themselves. Clich\u00e9 lah, but we really all in this together!<\/p>\n
Since limpeh is trying to be a better friend, I have made a list to remember:<\/p>\n
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***<\/p>\n
You know we love sharing lobang right? Here\u2019s one for you:<\/p>\n
Safe Space\u2122 offers a real-time, affordable and discreet mental wellness therapy services. You can find a counsellor by visiting their\u00a0website<\/a> and signing up for sessions.\u00a0<\/p>\n